Stuff Not To Tell Black People 2:Why do black girls have big booties?


A very brief big booty science

Halle Berry, Kerry Washington, Gabrielle Union, Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, otherwise known as men’s booty standards in ascending order? from just the right size (Halle) to Booty “ass-tactic” Minaj?

But here’s the science behind the big booty. Wikipedia ( shows us how it is no longer a matter of scientific “bitching” (endless arguments) that real and fake big booty are just not cut from the same booty cloth. According to real booty scientists, who by the way spend countless hours everyday looking at booties and analyzing them

(Not you Deandre!

, black kid

because one day even Google would’ve had enough…You’ve seen more big booty pictures online than one million Kenyans in all their lifetimes).

So science tells us that real big booty is a perfect 90 degree angle between the upper back and the peak of the badonkadonk.

90 degree ass

So anything higher or lower than 90 is simply… FAKE or aging (in that order).

Big booty is known in science as STEATOPYGIA. (Is this another case of science always getting their names wrong, S-Tit-o-pygia or Booty-o-pygia? So S-tit-opygia is far more common among black people of Bantu origin.

Kanye knows a bantu ass when he sees, er…touches one.

She sure got a whole lot of…bantu.

Just like in water, the first fish grew fins to adapt to the environment, although science is still to prove it, the theory is that Bantu women’s habit to carry weight on their back or babies on their back (while they do house chores or farm work) is what dictated their biology to deposit extensive amounts of fat in their backside area.

not like this
Not like this

But like this

All that big bantu ass is therefore believed to act like a cushy motherly bump to stop the baby from falling… Nature providing everything for the baby, at least this time daddy won’t mind. Bantu women reach their peak big booty size at the time of their first pregnancy.

So, don’t go asking people why they have got such big booties, it’s not like they ordered it from Amazon!


If you too, male or female, want to get one, it’s a proven fact, it’s science, simply carry a baby or a backpack or whatever on your back while you do demanding physical tasks or exercise at the gym. And squat once every five minute. (To quote Snoop) Before you know it, “you’ve got a bright future behind you!”

bright future