20 Whole Food Products that only white people Who Hate Whole Foods Will Understand

1. All cheeses were not created equal!


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2. Veggie burgers??? A burger with no meat…false advertizing

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3. Supplements….The more you rattle the better you’ll feel


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4. The eco friendly products allow you to offset the emissions from the rest of your life

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 5.Hummus. The only food white people aren’t allergic to

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6. Gluten Free, Sugar Free, Flavour Free

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7. The Blander, the higher the sacrifice, the more it can be moaned about

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8. Tofu literally means “To fool Us”. But it really is just a cube of white jelly

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9. Soy…the dairy alternative that tastes nothing like dairy


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10. Pick your own goes hand in hand with…

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11.  No samples….disaster!



12. Organic…the extra dirt adds flavour


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13. The price….If it’s not expensive then it’s not wholefoods


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14. Trail mix that resembles what we feed the birds!


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15. Green Algae….Supposed to make you feel good. Looks like slimer from Ghostbusters


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16. Gluten Free Crackers…dry as dust and surely made of cardboard


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17. Wheat bread is poison! Only Rye, Pumpernickel, or other hard as a brick varieties will do.


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18. Grain Fed Chickens = Chicken with a Spray Tanned

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19. Carob….It’s NOT chocolate


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20. Why are we so hellbent on reversing evolution? 

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