Top 6 Times White People Were Super Awesome Today!

We bring you the best in news and entertainment in the last 48 hours:

1. He’s white. He sure can dance. He also knows his way around wet floors…one little faux-pas and had he fallen down and broken his front teeth, he would have made it to our awkward white people today’s list. So here enjoy…

 

2. Nothing says White Louder Than Mountain DEW. So how about some DEWITOS?

3. The Classy Canadian Does What No Other Professional Athlete Has Ever Done, Pens All His Miseries and Pains In A Letter To A Lakers Fan.

4.  White Daredevils Walk A Tightrope Over Victoria Falls, Africa. You can almost Hear those Africans Watching Them Saying: “White People Very Crazy”

5. Jedi Babies Battle for Cupcake.

And…Note to some black people, especially the parents of these two adorable twins … please buy them some toys. We’re not talking special-effect Jedi swords like those white kids, but at least something decent. Because here’s what happens when black kids don’t have no goddamn toys and they’re not used to having the power on… like all the time.

And don’t be like this cheap Asian dad, who apparently tricked his son into thinking that food serves a dual purpose. “You don’t need a toy, this is one very good toy for you…”

I guess it all comes down to how you set it in your plate and the speed at which you can make it disappear…

“There you go, son. Faster than a Jedi mind trick. Who need a fun-king toy? This way you play and you learn. Two for one. Buy one, and get other free!”

 

6. You can’t beat this. Real super heroes don’t wear spandex or walk around with bimbos. They look super awkward and they just don’t give a damn about anyone, anything. Nothing not even fire can stop a real hero. Someone find this dude, we need a movie!

 

Top 6 Times Black People Were Awesome Today…coming up later today!