Chappelle’s Take on Daily News


My agent asked me, he said
“Dave what do you think of the phrase CONSCIOUSLY UNCOUPLING?”
I told him straight up man, I wish I were a fly on the wall the day that crazy-white-people-only conversation went down…
I imagine it went down something like this:

Chris Martin said,

Baby, you think It’s finally time we UNCONSCIOUSLY COUPLE our naked bodies between these sheets, you know like right before we CONSCIOUSLY UNCOUPLE for fucking good?


Gwyneth said,

Darling, can’t remember the last time we had sex, can you? I guess for so many years, we literally went through life UNCOUPLING our asses every night… But hey, since we can’t remember the last time we fucked, so how about we make it official, you know, we simply keep with our UNCOUPLING but this time you totally sink it deep inside your thick skull (be finally fucking CONSCIOUS) that it’s TOTAL UNCOUPLING from here on out…
Meaning, the only way left for you to tap this ass will be if you’re fucking UNCONSCIOUS, coupling with my imaginary lady bits!